Some Thoughts on Erotic Spanking

 02/05/2017    spanking

Erotic spanking can be an incredibly arousing experience for many couples and there are endless possibilities in which you can make the experience more varied and exciting. In this article we share a few of our thoughts and suggestions that might be of interest to anyone exploring this type of naughty fun.

To the uninitiated, it might feel a little strange to want to be spanked for fun. It's often joked that things you hated as a kid, you eventually learn to love as an adult... namely spankings and afternoon naps! However, for most couples there's going to be a lot more to this that simply flipping your lover across your lap and whacking their backside! Erotic spanking (we like to think of it as spanking for pleasure!) typically involves some quite specific techniques that can create an extremely pleasurable experience.

There are so many possibilities, entire articles (possibly entire books!) could be written on any of these topics, but here we're sharing just a few of our favourite thoughts on the topic of erotic spanking for pleasure, and providing links to a few of the resources that helped us explore this particular brand of kinky fun.

Do Your Research

There are many excellent resources online, but one of our particular favourites has been this series of six podcasts by The Pleasure Mechanics: Pleasure Mechanics - The Art of Erotic Spanking. It's a fabulous introduction that will definitely help you along the road to spankings with a focus very much on pleasure. On the same theme, they also ran this individual podcast episode, Wife Spanking - Pleasure or Punishment? which also explores some interesting themes.

From a more technical angle this article, The Science Behind Spanking, from the IsThisBDSM? blog looks at some of the reasons why spanking can be such a pleasure. 

Unsurprisingly there is plenty of spanking erotica available online, but if you're anything like us, you might find things tend to escalate too fast; it's not all that easy to find realistic couples indulging lighter, sensual spanking scenarios. One good example we enjoyed was from Erika Lust, in a short film called The Art of Spanking, a little too light on the spanking perhaps, but still a very hot scene! If you know of others, please let us know via Twitter. ;-)

Take It Steady

One of the most universal tips in erotic spanking is to start gently and slowly build the intensity in ever increasing waves. Get the blood flowing and temperatures rising with fairly mild rhythmical spanks. In this way your partner aims to bring you into a state of pleasurable excitement, think warm and tingly rather than hot and stingy! You'll need to experiment and find what works best for you as a couple, but we've found a light but fairly brisk warm-up works best. Not too firm, and don't keep pausing too often.

After a few minutes, switch to some rubbing and massage (take your time with this too) and you can introduce further delay at this point by changing position, and perhaps spending a couple of minutes standing in the naughty corner. This would also be the perfect time to shed some clothing and present your bare bottom over your partner's lap. Then you're ready to get back to the fun, but upping the intensity a little. It's probably going to take quite a few minutes to feel that anticipated swelling surge of tingling pleasure.

You can ramp up the intensity still further, but our point is that for maximum pleasure take your time. For example, consider saving any toys for later on. By all means tease your partner with a nice spanking paddle to let them know what you have in store for them, but we've found it best to start off with a hand.

Assume the Position

There are so many possibilities when it comes to positions, but for us it really has to be over-the-knee. There is a delight to be had from the simplicity of this time honoured ritual with your bottom beautifully poised in the perfect position for the attention of your man's right hand. You can feel his reassuring strength as you are drawn in close, knowing he holds you in the warmth of his secure embrace. Delightedly submit yourself to the indignity of lying over his lap and feeling your knickers tugged down around your knees... Oops, I might be getting carried away there, but you get the idea! ;-)

The downside to this classic over-the-knee position is that it can eventually become uncomfortable, and depending on the height and style of chair you are using, you can end up with a bit of a rush of blood to the head type sensation. A more comfortable variation is to have your partner seated on a sofa where your upper body can be partly supported on the seat cushions. And you can get the same effect lying across a bed, in which case your entire body can be supported, but your bottom is conveniently raised over his lap.

Dressing Up and Roleplay

We love lingerie and fancy dress outfits. If your plan is along the lines of erotic spanking as foreplay, perhaps go for a light, floaty chemises and babydolls, dressed up with some spanking knickers. If you prefer fancy dress outfits, schoolgirl costumes seem like the most obvious choice, but there are endless roleplay possibilities with mischievous maids, naughty nurses and saucy secretaries.

Our favourite outfit so far has been this Classified Schoolgirl Set that we bought some time ago. Follow the link here to see that full review.

For a bit of variety you could always choose to skip the saucy outfits altogether. Wear your normal work clothes and play out a scene in office attire, reporting to your boss who is about to take some stern action over one of your rather too frequent misdemeanours. Or really spice things up with a sexy party dress (and naughty lingerie of course!) and pretend your partner has finally lost his patience with how long it has taken you to get ready for a night out. Or, you really can't go wrong with some cute pyjamas, whereupon you are to be soundly spanked and sent to bed. Our only advice here is to let your imagination run wild!

One top-tip that we've always lived by is to avoid blending fantasy and reality. Keep your spanking-fun purely fantasy based with silliness and imaginary scenarios, never mixing it up with a real-life argument about your credit card bill, excessive phone bill, or frustration over your latest speeding ticket, etc. This type of crossover into "true" situations can mean entering quite a different territory. Stick with erotic fantasies is my advice.

Aftercare: Cuddles and Cornertime

Standing outside the headmaster's office awaiting your well deserved spanking, or being sent to stand in the corner to contemplate your naughty behaviour with your blushing cheeks on show, can be fun elements in the context of a kinky roleplay. Another ploy that works well is to be sent off to bed after a spanking, only to find the hubby follows you upstairs a few minutes later and sympathetically offers to soothe your stinging bottom with some cooling lotion. When that happens, you both know he'll soon be joining you under the duvet.

Personally I'm a big fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream. It's soothing, cooling, and the musky scent is absolutely gorgeous. Other cooling moisturisers do work okay too, and after sun creams can be pretty good. For cooling effects, look out for aloe vera, peppermint, tea tree oil. Whatever brand you choose, I promise you that it will feel lovely on a hot and tingling bot!


We're not recommending any particular product in this article, but we do suggest checking out some sexy fancy dress outfits and spanking paddles. It's a great way to add some additional variety. Also bear in mind that really maximising your pleasure from this kinky fun is going to take a bit of practice, so be sure to try out this Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream. I hope that you will definitely be needing it! :-)

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